distal girl2003--1-2-T04: 0:1:-08:00photos are almost as good as words.
where to find me:
http://languidfire.smugmug.combuzznet:user:id:2032http://www.buzznet.com/Copyright (c) 2005, Buzznet, Inc.distalmemoriesi can't sleep again.buzznet:user:entry:id:8055002005--0-1-T16: 0:2:-08:002005--0-1-T16: 0:2:-08:002005--0-1-T16: 0:2:-08:00distalmemories here's a new gallery at smugmug. just a few things to say before i go. i go?]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1105871971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1105871971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1105871971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1105871971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1105871971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1105871971-2.jpghey guys--i now have foresight.buzznet:user:entry:id:8043882005--0-1-T15: 1:7:-08:002005--0-1-T15: 1:7:-08:002005--0-1-T15: 1:7:-08:00distalmemories foresight. not to be confused with foreskin. ew.
why don'tcha stop by and see me sometime?]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1105839029-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1105839029-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1105839029-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1105839029-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1105839029-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users6/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1105839029-2.jpgthe great oakbuzznet:user:entry:id:7593182004--1-2-T28: 2:3:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:3:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:3:-08:00distalmemories she is surrounded by palms, tall and slender. her hands are open too, but calloused. she is not willowy.
i move past her and suck in my air (it should be colder). something is not right with me. that's how it feels. i miss home. there is no place to take a photo of. only feelings and colors and textures and the way my face looked that time or the braille the veins in my hands read like when they were stronger.
we had no witnesses. we closed our eyes and dove in every time. dried leaves, muddy snow, ice on the front steps, weather girls we were.
it is when i am driving that i have my time to myself. my time and i choose my music or no music or singing or no singing accordingly. today it's a new-to-me old cd that simply taps right into my homesickness.
the rain paints this old oak and i manage two pictures in as i drive by tonight. thankfully and strangely no one is behind me, swerving around impatiently as i slow and speed on this dangerous road. there is nothing i can do today but take out my camera (who hasn't been the same since she fell and broke months ago) and try, just try to speak to this void i have where home once was. they will think it is boston that i miss. they will think it is my old drinking hole or that school where i learned how to not learn. they will think i miss my old apartment. and partly they are right. partly there are parts of me that are gone and lost. and mostly there are deeper things that happened when we closed our eyes and no one was looking...and mostly i kept my eyes closed, but do you think she knew i looked sometimes? do you think she knew what i saw there?
i miss home. i miss open palms and hands scurrying on keyboards and fingers pressing shutter buttons and the idea that the great old oak would hang dearly on to life as long as we loved each other. i know now the oak just lives. simply. with or without us. and her palms surround her despite the wind and their height. i may stare straight ahead for awhile, sucking in my air and still, i will feel too warm, because something is just not quite right.]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104303764-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104303764-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104303764-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104303764-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104303764-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104303764-2.jpgi am protected.buzznet:user:entry:id:7592782004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:00distalmemories ]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104301763-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104301763-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104301763-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104301763-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104301763-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104301763-2.jpgthis tall palmbuzznet:user:entry:id:7592702004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:00distalmemories he waves at me on windy days]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104301614-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104301614-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104301614-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104301614-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104301614-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104301614-2.jpgthe end of the train.buzznet:user:entry:id:7592642004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:00distalmemories ]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104301504-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104301504-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104301504-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104301504-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104301504-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104301504-2.jpgthe trees are full of mistletoe.buzznet:user:entry:id:7592512004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:00distalmemories i want to clip it off and take it home and fill my home with kisses.]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104301330-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104301330-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104301330-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104301330-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104301330-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104301330-2.jpgif i drive fast enoughbuzznet:user:entry:id:7592372004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:00distalmemories maybe it will look like winter and the snow will lick the sky clean.]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104301130-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104301130-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104301130-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104301130-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104301130-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104301130-2.jpgif i drive fast enoughbuzznet:user:entry:id:7592292004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:00distalmemories maybe the sky between the branches will look like stars and fling themselves after me.]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104300875-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104300875-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104300875-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104300875-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104300875-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104300875-2.jpgi decided to stop and look.buzznet:user:entry:id:7592262004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:00distalmemories i drive by these scenes everyday. and everyday i wish i had the time to just linger and look at the details and capture them with more than a glance out the window at 60 mph. i stopped today. in the rain. for a few minutes. there's so much more than this. but this is a glimpse.]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104300578-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104300578-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104300578-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104300578-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104300578-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104300578-2.jpgi decided to stop.buzznet:user:entry:id:7592202004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:2:-08:00distalmemories ]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104300211-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104300211-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104300211-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104300211-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104300211-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104300211-2.jpghow i get there and there again.buzznet:user:entry:id:7592152004--1-2-T28: 2:1:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:1:-08:002004--1-2-T28: 2:1:-08:00distalmemories ]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104299972-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104299972-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104299972-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104299972-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104299972-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104299972-2.jpgone of my favorite gifts i gotbuzznet:user:entry:id:7546752004--1-2-T27: 0:7:-08:002004--1-2-T27: 0:7:-08:002004--1-2-T27: 0:7:-08:00distalmemories is my copper fire pit. mmmm.......yay for me!! :)]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104159971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104159971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104159971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104159971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104159971-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104159971-2.jpgwherever i go . . .buzznet:user:entry:id:7546642004--1-2-T27: 0:7:-08:002004--1-2-T27: 0:7:-08:002004--1-2-T27: 0:7:-08:00distalmemories ]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104159716-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104159716-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104159716-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104159716-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104159716-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104159716-2.jpgUntitled(754659)buzznet:user:entry:id:7546592004--1-2-T27: 0:6:-08:002004--1-2-T27: 0:6:-08:002004--1-2-T27: 0:6:-08:00distalmemories my dad got his dog a new collar. it's hot pink. i LOVE it. :D]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104159560-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104159560-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104159560-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104159560-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104159560-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104159560-2.jpghi!buzznet:user:entry:id:7529632004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:00distalmemories hi, everyone! happy holidays!!! i feel like i've had NO TIME in the past couple of months for anything that IIIII want to do. maybe i'll have more time soon, cuz i miss it here. i do.
love and kisses,
distal
girl]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104098275-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104098275-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104098275-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104098275-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104098275-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104098275-2.jpgnow we are herebuzznet:user:entry:id:7529432004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:00distalmemories that's what i called this photo when i saved it, and i'm not sure why, but i think it fits...
this time last year. sometimes when i think that way (this time last year; this time 3 years ago...) i'm so surprised i am where i am, and that i am the person i am. and sometimes it all just makes goddamn sense. a whole lotta goddamn sense.]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104097343-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104097343-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104097343-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104097343-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104097343-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104097343-2.jpg1buzznet:user:entry:id:7529382004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:00distalmemories this is my self-portrait in the gallery. it's called "straightening up."
i had a conversation once about how i think you can tell more about a person and their vulnerability when they're putting their clothes back ON, versus when they're naked or taking their clothing off.
this is me--forever fixing my appearance and straightening up. when i'm ready, you can see me.]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104096769-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104096769-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104096769-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104096769-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104096769-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104096769-2.jpg2buzznet:user:entry:id:7529262004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:00distalmemories ]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104096359-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104096359-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104096359-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104096359-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104096359-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104096359-2.jpg3buzznet:user:entry:id:7529242004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:002004--1-2-T26: 1:3:-08:00distalmemories ]]>http://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/thumb-msg-1104096295-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/synd-msg-1104096295-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/mob-msg-1104096295-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/gallery-msg-1104096295-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/large-msg-1104096295-2.jpghttp://cdn.buzznet.com/assets/users5/distalmemories/default/feat-msg-1104096295-2.jpg
